Time Management? You got this.

A few weeks ago I promised everyone on my IG Stories a blog post about time management. This series of stories prompted DMs saying things like ‘can’t wait’ and ‘that will be a must read’. So here we are, it’s Saturday evening of Labor Day Weekend. The twins are finally in bed and I’m hunkered down on my living room floor with my laptop and the dog by my side.

I’ll be breaking down my years of learned hustle here tonight. I am by no means an expert, but what I’ve written below is what has worked for me. Hopefully some of the things I have learned (and put into practice) can help you improve your own time allocations both personally and professionally.

Section 1: The Thing You’re Not Supposed to Say…

I am selfish.

When it comes to my time, I am absolutely 100% completely selfish.

It doesn’t sound like an attractive quality to have but let me lay this down for you…NO ONE cares about, nor can protect, your time and your priorities better than you. Let me say that again…

NO ONE cares about, nor can protect, your time and your priorities better than you.

If you cannot get comfortable with being selfish about putting your time and priorities first, expect for outside influences to continue to dictate your life. And as women, getting to this stage of selfish acceptance is a challenge because we feel guilty about, well….everything.

We worry constantly about letting our families down, our bosses down, our teammates down. We apologize for EVERYTHING. How many times has someone bumped into you and somehow your immediate reaction was to apologize to them? It’s nuts! Y’all, I do it all the time. It’s like an informed muscle memory I’m trying desperately to rewire.

As this innate sense of guilt applies to time management, think about it – how many times has someone asked you to do something – volunteer time, take on an extra project, etc. – and YOU KNOW you do not have the bandwidth. BUT, you say yes anyways because you don’t want to let the other person down. Sound familiar?

If you want to have more time for whatever matters to you – a hobby, spending more time with your kids, traveling, etc – then you have to get comfortable with saying no to others. And the funny thing is, people will absolutely understand. Why? Because we are all in the same boat! Floating along on a river of overcommitments where no one seems brave enough to jump ship. If something pops up that is not a priority for you, do not give it power by making it one.

Section 2: The Early Bird Gets…Time to Herself

I truly believe success is achieved by repeating the same intentional disciplines every day. To put it simply, I believe in routine – and a morning routine especially because it sets the entire tone for your day.

Monday thru Friday, my alarm goes off at 5am. My twins get up at 6:30am, so that gives me a solid 90 minutes to ramp up my day before anyone has asked anything from me.

This 90 minutes is a sacred time I have for myself to focus on myself. I cannot express how critical this window of time is for me – if there is ever a day where I don’t make this happen for whatever reason, my whole day feels off. During these 90 minutes I exercise, shower, dress, and mentally get ready for my day.

First thing I do is either run or do yoga – it’s only for 30 minutes but believe me, I make those 30 minutes count in sweat. This is both a physical and mental amp up for my day.

After a quick shower I get dressed in one of two outfits I wear in my home office – a black shift dress or a black cotton jumpsuit. Why? They are comfortable for the home office (but chic enough to wear out for dropping the kids off and getting a coffee), also – limited options hinders decision fatigue.

A side note on decision fatigue – I don’t need to spend 15 minutes every morning deciding what I am going to wear. I love fashion and I love curating outfits – but not for my everyday weekdays. I highly recommend finding a look that works for you on a typical weekday and stick with it. Buy multiples of whatever pieces you love so you don’t have to do laundry constantly. Worried about people judging you for wearing the same thing? Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, and Ariana Huffington are all examples of successful people who have adopted the daily uniform. Now back to that routine topic…

My coffee machine is programmed to brew automatically so I’m ready to pour a cup and plow through email by 6am. I work quite a bit on international projects now, so most mornings I wake up with emails from Europe or Asia that came in over night. Getting up early means I can knock those out before my normal day even starts.

Next, I look at my day and set my priorities – and this all happens in a notebook I write in every morning. What meetings do I have and do I need to prep for them? What needs to be wrapped up from yesterday? What are the biggest things I can do today to move the needle in my business? I always title this list ‘Results Desired’, not ‘To Do List’. ‘To Do’ implies something trivial – like emptying the trash. The phrase ‘Results Desired’ has power to it – it gives meaning to the items I’ve listed. It implies that what I’ve written down are the things that will make for a great today and a better tomorrow.

By now it’s 6:30am and the twins are up so it’s time to go into Mom-mode. BUT here I am, having already worked out, am fully dressed, and ten steps ahead on my day. As soon as I get back from dropping the twins off, I’m ready to get to work having already clearly prioritized the day ahead.

Section 3: How You Spend Your Down Time…

My time spent watching TV shows has decreased dramatically over the last year. Monday-Friday I watch the A-Block of news from 7-7:15am while the twins eat their breakfast, but that’s probably the only time all day I’m in front of a show.

Do I love a good binge every now and then? Absolutely. And when Game of Thrones was on, my butt was glued in front of that TV every Sunday night. But that was one show and a binge typically gets contained to a weekend. It’s a condensed experience, not part of my everyday routine.

Everyone has their own way to decompress and I’ve found that I destress the best by reading or writing, rather than watching. Exercising is also an amazing way for me to decompress. If I’ve had a shit day at work, you bet your butt I’m running as hard and as fast as I can for as long as I can in the evening. Lacing up my sneakers lets my emotions flow better than almost anything.

Maybe TV is your relaxation, the one time in your day where you can tune out stress and breathe – and if so, that’s great! No judgement. My point of this section is this – evaluating how you spend your time also includes evaluating how you spend your down time.

Is what you’re doing truly relaxing? Is it making you feel better, being more decompressed after it’s over, providing a path to resolution to whatever was bothering you? Or – is it something that is mind-numbing for a bit and you find yourself right back in the same anxious spot you left before the start?

Section 4: It Takes a Village…

Let me be clear, I could not do half of what I do without a support system. As a working Mom it truly does take a village to get through day-to-day life.

When we lived in DC, we had no family nearby so my support system was primarily our Nanny – which meant support was expensive. I never imagined how costly it would be to attend a work event, let alone just go out for fun, after we had the twins.

I am so thankful we are in Texas now and close to family. As business trips pop up or meetings get rescheduled, we have wonderful and free help with the twins at a moment’s notice. I also have a husband who is a true partner in parenting. There are many times where I am traveling and he’s home holding down the fort – we are in this 50/50.

With family, a back up babysitter, and a supportive husband I’ve been able to carve out time for things that lift me up such as volunteering at Dress for Success, being more engaged with travel opportunities at work, and spending time with girlfriends.

But as I’m talking about my own rosy support system, I of course don’t know what yours is or what is available to you. But I do know this – you can’t be afraid to ask for help, because none of us can do it alone.

The people in your life – friends and neighbors – can be a support system in lieu of family. While in DC, I had industry friends who literally stayed overnight and watched my twins when my husband and I had work travel that overlapped. Did I hate asking? Of course, I felt awful about it but we were out of options and our friends were more than happy to help. Another example, I went into labor during the worst blizzard DC had seen in a century. Seven men I had never met dug a truck out of the snow to get me to the hospital, it was the most heart warming thing that has ever happened to me. And here’s the thing about people and experiences like that…it’s how you build community. So if you don’t have an immediate support system that pops into your head, think about how you could build one. Because being there for each other and reciprocating support in times of need is what this world needs more of.

Section 5: In conclusion…

I do not have it all figured out, believe me – I have a faults and flaws list a mile long.

But I do know this…

Every day I wake up with a go-get-em attitude, not much really deters me. Knock me down? Fine, let’s call it a lesson and I’ll get back up. I am relentless in the pursuit of whatever my heart is set on.

Having a routine, a truly structured approach to how my spend my time, provides me with the mental and physical wellbeing to rise every day with the mindset of girl, you got this.