1. Why We Do This At All, Especially on Vacation
Back in June I shared a story on IG about how the Hubs and I take one day of our vacation for a strategy session. Some of you thought we were absolutely bonkers, but many of you wanted to know more. How do we do this and why? Let’s start with the why.
Life is BUSY. We both work full time corporate gigs. We have six year old twins. I volunteer on an association board and also do this little side gig called The Stacy Strategy. With a busy life it can be difficult to step back and reflect on where we are as a family and ask ourselves is this where we really want to be? If not, how do we get ourselves back on track?
We have made some of our best decisions while on vacation. One example took place in Italy in 2018. We were eight days into vacation. After leisurely wandering Rome for five days and Venice for three, we realized how much we wanted our money to stretch further and to see family more often. So after living in DC for 7 years, we decided on Day 9 of that trip to move back to Texas. We were drinking an Aperol Spritz, sitting in a Piazza in Venice and literally called our relator right then and there – and told her to list the house. Maybe that sounds crazy to you – maybe it seems that it was a spur of the moment decision made while living an Italian dream away from day-to-day life. BUT, here is what I know…
You need to step back to see the bigger picture. You need time away to really disconnect and reflect. It is nearly impossible to be in the right mind set for this type of creative work when you are in a daily grind. Making space for this exercise when you are away from home and relaxed is the best possible time to open your mind and your heart to life’s possibilities. With all that said, I’m going to give you one other major piece of advice for this exercise and your vacation as a whole…
YOU DO NOT NEED TO ANSWER YOUR EMAIL WHEN YOU ARE ON VACATION.
I promise no matter how important you think you are, the world and your organization will keep on spinning without you for a week or two. There are very few people in the world whose responsibilities would be an exception to this rule. I have been doing this for years and miraculously I’ve still met my sales goals, still kept my job, and still been promoted. It is possible to take vacation as it’s meant to be and still be successful and respected at work. Prepare your teammates, your customers, whoever it is that you deal with on a day to day basis to expect you to be unresponsive for the time you are out. This is not lazy. It is not selfish. It is necessary for your well being to disconnect so please, take the time off and do not feel guilty about it.
2. What You’ll Need and When to Do This
I recommend doing this exercise after you are at least 3-4 days into your vacation. Don’t do it when you first get there, you’re not disconnected yet. Don’t do it the day before you leave, because by then you’re probably already thinking about what is waiting for you back at home. You need to be in a very relaxed state when you decide to take this on so you can think clearly…probably for the first time in awhile.
Here’s a list of what you’ll need to workshop your life (that can fit in a suitcase!)
- Post Its in 5-6 Colors
- (2) Legal Notepads
- Personal Laptop or iPad
- Black Sharpees
- An Open Mind
- A Willingness to be Honest with Yourself and Your Partner
3. Where to Begin
Ok, you’re relaxed, you’ve got supplies, maybe a cup of coffee or a cocktail. Now, where do you begin? Start by making a list of categories you want to tackle. Here are some examples:
- Finances
- Health
- Career Goals
- Your Marriage
- Your Passions (Outside of Your Responsibilities at Work and Family)
Make each Post It color a category to easily visualize during the workshop. Each person gets a few of each color. Whenever you have a goal or an idea around that category, you write it down on a Post It and stick that single thought on the wall. If you have a sliding glass door at your hotel room they work GREAT for this. Otherwise, any blank wall or window will do. Leave a tip for the cleaning lady since you’ll have fingerprints all over the glass. 🙂
These single thoughts on the Post It are meant to be rapid fire, y’all. There is no bad idea! There is no crazy idea! If money was not an option, what would life look like? Do you finally want to learn how to play guitar? Retire at 50? Buy a vacation home? Change careers? Write those babies down and stick them on the wall. This step in the process is not about what seems immediately achievable or ‘realistic’, if you want it – write it down and give that thought power.
We write every single idea down because if you don’t, they are just a wish. A WISH IS NOT A GOAL. A wish does not require a plan. A wish does not have a list of actionable items and a timeline to keep you on track. If you really want something to happen it’s time to right that thing down and identify what you need to do to get there.
4. Narrowing Your Focus
So now your hotel room is covered in Post Its that have given power to your wonderful, limitless ideas because you put them down on pen and paper. Now what? We need to narrow your focus by picking (3) big ideas.
Why three? One, because you need to set manageable expectations and not put yourself on a track for failure before you even start. If you try to tackle too much too soon you will ultimately feel overwhelmed and disappointed and you will give up and go back to old habits. The whole point of this exercise is to move yourself forward, not backward, and certainly not to stay in the same place.
Secondly, we are going to put a timeframe on these three goals. I want you think about what steps you can take in the next 12 months to get you closer to your new life. 12 months is not much time, we need to tackle these big goals in digestible bites. If you move the needle in one year, you’ll be capable of continuing to move it in years two, three, and four. Big goals take time, they do not happen overnight. You are in this for the long game so be patient with yourself.
5. Identifying What it Will Take
Now it’s officially game plan time. You need to figure out how you are going to achieve these goals. What changes, big or small, will help move the needle in the right direction?
Let’s say you’re focused on improving your finances, an example of something small would be to evaluate all of your subscription services. I guarantee you there is at least one you can live without, and probably more. An example of something big in that same category would be to reduce large monthly expenses like car payments, mortgages, and/or rent. Ideally you’re asking yourself the $30,000 questions and not the $3 questions (like cutting back on coffee) – because those big $ questions are where you are really going to move the needle. Now, you need to back yourself into each of your three goals with ideas on how you could change your life, either by starting or stopping certain habits. This all might seem challenging, but the next step is master class.
6. Be Honest With Yourself…Are You Willing to Do the Work?
So, you’ve identified what you need to do to get there on three big goals over the next 12 months…so step back and ask yourselves the hard honest question..are you willing to do ALL those things to get what you want?
Changing something in your life often means you have to give up something else…and sacrifice for most us is extremely uncomfortable. Are you willing to let go of that one thing to gain another? Either yes or no, there is no wrong answer here. The point is that you wrote down the goal, identified what it would take, and came to a decision on whether to move forward or not.
7. Holding Yourselves Accountable
Congratulations on making it to the last step! You’ve got goals. You’ve got a timeline. You’ve got a plan. You’re doing GREAT.
The last step is deciding on how you will hold yourself accountable. Do you need to do the Jerry Seinfeld method of getting a big daily calendar and putting an “X” over each day you did something to move the needle towards your goal? Do you need to create a vision board of your future new life and hang it somewhere you’ll see it everyday, to remind yourself what you are working towards? Do you need tell someone outside your home and ask them to help hold you accountable? Figure out a system that will keep you motivated.
Change is hard but if you really want something, the work, effort, and sacrifice will be worth it. My biggest advice as you go through this process is to not give a single thought to what other people will think. Those people are not you. They are not living your life so they do not get to determine the worthiness of your own goals. You only get one life, so make the most of it and make it your own.
The Stacy Strategy 